The 3rd Hook

On the Summer Solstice Supermoon of June 23rd, 2013, I went through a Rite of passage ritual. I was suspended by my flesh in the air, and I played violin while doing it.

It was truly painful, but also liberating and mind-expanding. Each step of the way was a new fear I had to overcome, and each step of the way I had to tap in to my inner strength to keep going.

I chose to have my 4 hooks inserted individually, to make it more painful. Each hook represented something to me. The 3rd hook was the one that represented my fears, my traumas, and all of the negativity I was letting go of. That hook hurt the absolute most, and that is why I named this experience, “The 3rd Hook.”

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When I was handed my violin after being lifted in to the air, I could barely move my arms because of the pain. I breathed through it, and held it up to my chin. Still, I felt I could not do it. Then, a fire from deep inside me swelled and shot through my arms and fingers in to my violin, and I played my heart out.

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It was so incredibly meaningful and amazing. I am honored to share this experience with the world.

I am now a member of the group CoRE: Constructs of Ritual Evolution, and our purpose is to educate people on flesh hook suspension and body modification. From an Anthropological perspective, suspension is incredibly powerful and rooted in a long history of cultural rituals. From

There are many different reasons to suspend, from pure adrenaline or endorphin rush, to conquering ones fears, to trying to reach a new level of spiritual consciousness and everything in between. In general, people suspend to attain some sort of “experience. Some people are seeking the opportunity to discover a deeper sense of themself and to challenge pre-determined belief systems which may not be true. Some are seeking a right of passage or a spiritual encounter to let go of the fear of not being whole or complete inside their body. Others are looking for control over their body, or seek to prove to themselves that they are more than their bodies, or are not their bodies at all. Others simply seek to explore the unknown.”

I am proud to have experienced this for myself, and I am sure it will not be my last.

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Here is the video of my playing violin while being suspended. You can see the struggle in the beginning, and as the video goes on you can see me getting stronger and transforming completely.


  1. David Syzdek says

    That’s one of the most amazing, inspiring, and, I have to say, mind-bending things, that I have ever seen. You’re amazingly brave and so expressive.

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